1) Consent-first advice (and why)
People come here to learn, sense-check, and get perspective.
So the baseline for replies in this forum is simple: assume everyone involved has agency, and aim for clarity over persuasion.
That means we focus on:
communication and alignment (what each person actually wants)
boundaries and expectations (what’s okay / not okay)
informed choices (what the risks are, emotionally and practically)
What we don’t do here is coach “workarounds” for a partner’s reluctance, or strategies that rely on pressure, ambiguity, or wearing someone down. If someone isn’t on the same page, the most useful next step is usually slow down, clarify, and renegotiate, not escalate.
2) Your relationship comes first
This isn’t a place to treat partners like “a project” or “an obstacle.”
We’re here to strengthen connection, communication, and trust, not to rack up experiences.
If you’re posting about a conflict, be honest about your part in it. If you’re posting about a plan, include how your partner feels about it.
3) Protect privacy and identities
No real names, no identifying details, no faces, no social handles, no locations that narrow someone down.
Do not post screenshots from private chats without explicit permission.
If in doubt: anonymise more than you think you need to or check with Merovingian.
4) No hunting, no solicitation
This is not a classifieds site.
No “looking for a 3rd,” no DM fishing, no subtle “message me” posts.
If someone tries to turn the forum into a marketplace, this behaviour will get shut down quickly.
5) Keep it respectful and useful
We can disagree. We don’t do contempt.
No shaming, no pile-ons, no “you’re broken” energy.
Challenge ideas, not people. If you’re going to critique, make it constructive.
6) Explicit is fine, crude isn’t the point
Adult topics are expected here. Graphic detail for its own sake isn’t.
Write like you’re trying to be understood, not like you’re performing.
If you’re sharing a field report, focus on the dynamics, decisions, emotions, and lessons, not just the play-by-play.
7) Don’t give dangerous advice
If something is medical, legal, or safety-critical, say so and encourage proper help.
If someone is in crisis, the priority is stability and support, not “the lifestyle.”
8) Where to post (so the forum stays clean)
Concepts / frameworks? → Core Concepts
Planning something practical? → In Practice
Need advice / interpretation? → Advice Desk
Core reading? → Library
Mods may move threads to keep everything organised.
9) Moderation philosophy
We moderate for:
consent and safety
privacy
quality of discussion
Not for “wrong opinions.”
If something gets removed or moved, it’s usually to keep the space healthy, not to punish.
